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Author Archives: Paatk

My Raccoon Problem

There’s a raccoon in my chimney. A big, fat, pregnant raccoon that looks ready to burst and is soon going to fill my chimney chock-full of baby raccoons. Sh*t! Sh*t!! Sh*t!!! As*hole raccoons. Oh, how I hate you! DIE! No. Don’t die. That would make me sad. Think of the babies. LEAVE! Yeah. Just leave … Continue reading »

Categories: raccoons, sucking, things-n-stuff | Comments Off

Derp! Baby Derp!

Liam’s back (more in the Liamseum) and he’s derpyer than ever!

Categories: derp, Liam Finn McCool Kelly | Comments Off

What Did Paat Buy Today?

What did Paat (that’s me!) buy today? If you guessed a Murder She Wrote board game and a pair of size 7 carrot slippers -  you WIN! Thank you for playing our game.

Categories: crap, What Did Paat Buy Today | Comments Off

Liam’s 1st Video

1st video. You go little man. You go. Plus he received his 1st piece of mail: I was a bit unsure that Carrie followed through on the name until this came. Carrie pre-registered at the hospital and filled out the birth certificated info then. All I ever saw was Baby Boy Kelly. I am relieved … Continue reading »

Categories: Liam Finn McCool Kelly | Comments Off

The Stars Were Aligned

This is gold. Pure gold. I want Lt. Buckley to write my biography. Thanks again to Lt. Buckley for making my day!

Categories: drunks, hard things to lose, police blotter | Comments Off

Man in a Suitcase

Started watching the 1967 British series Man in a Suitcase tonight. While entertaining the “man” is yet to be in a “suitcase”. Liars. Paat sez, “It’s worth a watch, but don’t expect Hawaii Five-O levels of cool”.

Categories: British TV, men in suitcases, television | Comments Off

Hair Piece for My Baby

Liam decided on The Joshua for his new hair piece. Wise decision wee man. Wise decision indeed. Needs a neck shave and has a weak chin but the hair is resplendent! Not bad for a two-week old.

Categories: baby hair pieces, hats | Comments Off

Watching the Detectives

So last night I’m kind of bored and looking for something on the TV to fill the void before before bed and I stop on a Swedish detective drama from 1997 on the Denver PBS MHz sub-channel (not channel 6, but channel 12). I was only going to watch for a minute but them damn … Continue reading »

Categories: banana tycoons, crime dramas, Swedish detectives | Comments Off

Kind of Weatherish Tonight

“Kind of  weatherish tonight.” Tommy the mechanic to Ned Beaumont in Dashiell Hammett’s The Glass Key Hell of a lot of awesome in that kind of talk. And a pretty damn good book. Whiskey, cigarettes and dames kind of good. Paat says, “check it out!” Plus the movie, which I have not seen, has that … Continue reading »

Categories: Noir fiction, weatherish | Comments Off

Crash Cam!

Exciting, okay kind of interesting, traffic camera captures from February 3, 2012 of a rolled-over SUV on I-25 and the subsequent removal of said SUV: I have too much free time.

Categories: car crashes, crap, sucking, Winter Classic | Comments Off

“Share The Meat” pt. 4

“Share The Meat” recipes. Baked bean loaf. A nourishing, healthful meat substitute, this bean loaf contains vitamins and minerals found in many meat dishes. Serve it for luncheon or supper with hot tomato sauce, pickles, or even a sliced raw onion. This bean loaf is a bland dish, and any spicy food goes well with … Continue reading »

Categories: recipes, share the meat | Comments Off

“Share The Meat” pt. 3

“Share The Meat” recipes. Baked bean loaf. Mix ingredients well and shape into a loaf. Place in shallow pan, pour a little melted fat over the top, and bake until well browned.

Categories: recipes, share the meat | Comments Off

“Share The Meat” pt. 2

“Share The Meat” recipes. Baked bean loaf. Mash three cups of cooked beans, or chop them very fine.  Add a chopped onion, one-half cup of milk (water or the liquid from the cooked beans may be substituted), a beaten egg and a cup of bread crumbs. A little finely chopped celery is good too. Season … Continue reading »

Categories: recipes, share the meat | Comments Off

“Share The Meat” pt. 1

“Share The Meat” recipes. For a coast to coast favorite and a vitamin-rich meatless dish, bake a bean loaf as you would a meatloaf. The ingredients are simple: three cups of cooked beans, one onion, one-half cup of milk (water or liquid from the beans can be substituted), one egg (beaten), one cup of bread … Continue reading »

Categories: recipes, share the meat | Comments Off

The Future!

I present to you: THE FUTURE!

Categories: Uncategorized | Comments Off